und zur Abwechslung wieder mal etwas Humor

[kurt]

ODE(s) to BEER


Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to
drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver."
(Babe Ruth)
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
(Lyndon B. Johnson)
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An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
fools.
(Ernest Hemingway)
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
(Paul Hornung)
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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
(H. L. Mencken)
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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
(George Bernard Shaw )
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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
(Benjamin Franklin)
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza.
(Dave Barry)
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Beer: Helping ugly people having sex since 3000 B. C.
(W. C. Fields)
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Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
(Professor Irwin Corey)
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a
can!
(Leo Durocher)
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One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his
buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can
only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted,
it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of
the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers............

gruß, kurt (der als bekennender maßvollgernbiertrinker all das nur voll und ganz bestätigen kann

[TheRealOwna]

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Wilhelm

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. - William Butler Yeats

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. - Tom Waits

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

und die altbekannte Studie darf auch nicht fehlen:

Yesterday, scientists suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should reconsider their beer consumption. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed six pints of beer each within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong No further testing is planned.

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[kurt]